Small talk

We must not underestimate the force of small talk – it's not only talks about weather and the last news.

Small talk is not a simulator of the talk

Small talk is often understood as a simulator of an introductory talk, that does not contain special sense – for example, the talk about the weather to interrupt inconvenient silence. But these are not its peculiarity and value!

The peculiarity is in the approach: small talk may be a useful instrument in building relationships, if one takes it for a form of communication with its targets and peculiarities.

What for do we need a short talk?

To begin a talk with strangers easier and not to feel strong discomfort.

What is it necessary to think beforehand?

To answer the questions:
  • what do you want to get from this talk?
  • how must we build communication for everybody to be comfortable?

How can a small talk be effective? Three steps:

Step 1. Try to estimate at the start the degree of people's readiness for communication

For this, put several open questions wider and deeper than the standard "how are you?"
Monosyllabic answers must alert and highlight the fact that the interlocutor is not strongly interested in communication.

To understand better the person you talk to use these 3 tools.

Step 2. Don't forget about the interests of the opponent of the talk, when you barge in the conversation with your thoughts and ideas

Create the space, where a man may tell you about himself and his experience. This will help him to reveal his inner world a little, and you – to see the intersection points and additional themes for communication.

Step 3. When you find intersection lines, don't leave "a ball" at the opposite side of the field – join the talk more actively and tell them about yourself

If a man has come to communicate and is open for the dialogue – this means that your thoughts and reactions are potentially interesting.
In that way the dialogue will be two-sided.

- Tell me, what you are busy with after work
- I found a new hobby, now I grow herbs at home
- And I like bonsai. Did you hear about it?

it can be needed to tell a story about yourself. Don't hesitate, we give an advice how to make it involving.

How must we estimate the result of a small talk?

A small talk is necessary to create a safe, comfortable zone for communication, when we may speak openly and not feel discomfort.

It may finish without a concrete result – for example, simply fill in a pause, and may lead to useful and pleasant acquaintance.

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